Kelly Worley | Margin, What’s On Your Plate, And Buying Avocados

Something we need more of is the topic of this podcast, and every once in a while I like to bring Kelly on to the podcast because she’s wise, smart, and patient, and it helps me to check in with her about the major lessons in our lives, the greatest things that we’ve learned at this moment. Today, we goof around a bit and took some time to sip on some wine, eat some chocolate and reconnect but don’t worry, it’s a PG.

Kelly’s incredibly gorgeous. She makes me laugh and sometimes you get the real me when she’s on the show because we lead with equality. We don’t always agree. We fight. We’re both very, very opinionated, but we make up. And the most important thing is that we’re galvanized as parents and in our vision for the future when we’re out of sync or we’re off balance is bad, but in fact, balance is not what we’re seeking.

What we’re seeking is the topic of this podcast. It’s not always sunshine and roses, but it’s encouraging, and our goal is to help you find those areas in your life that you can reflect on and improve and appreciate. If you’ve already mastered the topic then that we’re going over, I’m not going to give it away, but it’s one of the major themes in our life right now. We all need it, yet we rarely make time for it. Kelly and I discussed this in our household all the time and we’re on a quest to get more of it.

I hope you enjoy cocktails and dreams, Kelly Worley edition, because we really decided to take the time to talk about the most important thing in our life right now. Something that was forced on us and is most likely forced on you – how do you deal with it and what do you do with it and how do you reshape that and turn it into something constructive.

I hope you like this. It took us a long time to get through. I’m just kidding. It was super fun. So take a listen.

Link to Special Guest:

https://www.facebook.com/KellyWorleyTeam

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-worley-04954b3a

For Video versions of the podcast:

https://www.youtube.com/@CocktailsAndDreamsPodcast

Connect with Jeramie and our business

https://www.linkedin.com/company/worleyrealestatenetwork

Jeramie’s Book, Workbook or Audiobook

Myths, Management & Mastery of Vacation Rentals

https://worleyconsulting.textretailer.com/qc/tlkA3RcG9W

Link to our website

https://worleyrealestatenetwork.com

For a free trial to the best investment grade Short Term Rental Data tool for locating the best deals out there and to help Investors and Agents achieve mastery in their real estate business:

https://vrolio.typeform.com/cocktailndreams

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Kelly Worley | Margin, What’s On Your Plate, And Buying Avocados

Something we need more of is the topic of this podcast. Every once in a while, I like to bring Kelly onto the podcast because she’s wise, smart, and patient. It helps me to check in with her about the major lessons in our lives, the greatest things that we’ve learned at this moment. On this episode, we goof around a bit and take some time to sip on some wine, eat some chocolate, and reconnect, but don’t worry, it’s PG.

She’s incredibly gorgeous. She makes me laugh, and sometimes you get the real me when she’s on the show because we lead with equality. We don’t always agree. We fight. We’re both very opinionated, but we make up. The most important thing is that we’re galvanized. As parents and in our vision for the future, when we’re out of sync or off balance, it’s bad, but in fact, balance is not what we’re seeking.

What we’re seeking is the topic of this podcast. It’s not always sunshine and roses, but it’s encouraging. Our goal is to help you find those areas in your life that you can reflect on, improve, and appreciate. If you’ve already mastered the topic that we’re going over, I’m not going to give it away. It’s one of the major themes in our life right now.

We need it, yet we rarely make time for it. Kelly and I discuss this in our household all the time, and we’re on a quest to get more of it. I hope you enjoy the Cocktails and Dreams, Kelly Worley edition because we decided to take the time to talk about the most important thing in our lives right now. It was forced on us, and it’s most likely forced on you. How do you deal with it, what do you do with it, and how do you reshape that and turn it into something constructive? I hope you like this. It was super fun.

I have a question for you. It’s a test question, and I want you to be honest.

Undoubtedly, I will be honest.

Did you know it was a holiday weekend?

Not until two days ago.

I didn’t until today. People kept wishing me a great holiday weekend, and I thought, “What did I miss?”

Here’s how I found out. I kept trying to schedule things on Monday, and it wasn’t until the third person told me it was Memorial Day that I finally clued into it. Being in retail for many years, you plan for the holiday weekend for the traffic, but you also plan to work. It wasn’t a thing. I remember one of our first Memorial Day weekend celebrations as a young married couple. We went and bought avocados from the grocery store because we were being fancy and we were spending a little bit of extra money on groceries because we wanted to make guacamole.

I don’t remember ever eating an avocado while living in Missouri.

No, I think it was when we were in California.

That’s probably why we bought them because they’re good out there.

Yes, but we splurged.

Are we going to do something fancy this weekend?

We shall have. You know what I have? I have a poblano and pineapple guacamole from ALDI in the refrigerator right this minute.

We’re having guacamole this weekend. That’s as exciting as it gets around here. Are we going to the lake house this weekend?

We are preparing for our European tour, which I’m very excited about. If you decide you want to go to the lake house and it’s not booked, then we will make it happen.

That’s what I’m trying to get at. Is it booked for this weekend?

It’s booked this weekend.

That’s what I wanted you to say because I wanted you to say that it was booked because we have this lake house, but we can’t go there because we rented it out.

No, it’s booked.

Even if it wasn’t booked, would you go there this weekend?

I would consider it. I would go for a day, swim, kayak, and ride a four-wheeler. Yes, it’d be awesome.

That’s the dilemma. We released a podcast about Lake Longbow. That’s the fun dilemma, like building a property that you want for yourself and that you rent out. That’s why we decided to do all the remodeling out there and also put in the RV pads and the additional cabins because I don’t want to put my camo away. I don’t want to put my shoes away. I want to leave my Henry David Thoreau book on the nightstand so I can pretend to be smart.

This question, “Did you know it was a holiday weekend?” leads me to the topic of our conversation, but I wanted to give you the choice of topics on this episode. I’m going to ask you multiple-choice questions. Would you like to talk about A) Making love on the beach? Are you laughing?

I was trying to, but I took a sip.

Why is that funny?

It’s not a podcast topic.

Why not? I bet if you Google searched it, you’d find a ton of them.

Okay, I’m keeping a 50% open mind.

2) The return of olfactory receptors two years post-COVID. What do you think?

Do you think people want to listen to that?

I don’t know, probably not.

I could say a couple of things about it, but I’m not sure.

Quest For Margin

You’re not an expert in that? You’re not an expert in making love on the beach either, at least from what I can tell. 3) Is a quest for margin in your life right now. Do you want to talk about that?

Sure.

What do you know about margin?

I know what it’s supposed to be. I do strive for it, but there’s always something that’s going to swing farther in one direction and farther in the other. It’s keeping that balance. It means that you’re exactly in the middle at all times, which is unrealistic to try to strive for, and I think you’ll just end up frustrated because we are human beings. As human beings, we have a lot of variety and a lot of things that come at us daily. That’s why novels and movies are very interesting because there’s always drama. That’s the way God created our lives, and that’s the way we’re intended to live so that we don’t get bored. Understanding first that when there’s a project, when there’s something that has to be pushed, you’re a little bit farther on this side of the pendulum.

As long as you recognize that to fit margin or relaxation and the things that matter in, you’re going to have to let some of these things on the other side go for a little bit. Also knowing that because it ebbs and flows, whenever it’s flowing, just understand that the ebb is flowing. Sometimes that’s a day or a week that you’re in the flow, and sometimes, honestly, it’s three years.

That’s why in those times, you have to recognize that rest is important right now. That can wait, this time with my child, this time giving myself time to watch a movie or take a nap. Those things are important because we don’t celebrate naps, do we? We celebrate, “I’m busy.” “I’m just working hard.” In our culture, we celebrate that.

When you greet somebody who’s an acquaintance in business, you’ll always say, “How’s business?” No one ever says, “I’ve managed my business appropriately to my lifestyle and I’m happy and I work four days a week.” Honestly, we say that. Who’s still saying it? The four-day work week, those are our new heroes.

Not those people who bust butt, get there and work. I’m here at 8:00 AM and I’m usually coming home. I haven’t been able to help you with dinner lately at all. I’m usually two hours late for work because I’m here pushing three different businesses, and it’s not margin. I’m doing what I want to do, that’s the crazy gift of entrepreneurship.

You do it for free anyway because you want to, because you’re not making any money yet at it. That’s just how it is sometimes in business until you get something off the ground. It’s that heavy upfront investment. A lot of times, if I had already achieved the level of income that I wanted, I’d still be doing this because I love being in a cockpit.

I love testing myself. I love being put up against the toughest challenges because that’s when I grow. I love to grow and I love to learn, but I’m at growth and learn overload. I’m at my max right now. I think that everybody is striving to work less. How do you work less? It seems like you have to work more to work less. I don’t know, what do you think?

What’s that saying? An entrepreneur is the only person who will work 80 hours a week or 120 hours a week just to avoid working 40 hours a week.

Yes, psychologically unemployable, is what those people are.

I would agree with you. I think that you’re constantly in a place of growth. You intentionally put yourself in those places, those uncomfortable places. Your perspective is probably a lot like your audience, but maybe not like the majority of the public. I think you’re unique in that, but I think it is a trend that people want to work less because they’re finding smarter ways to get a better return on their time.

I don’t think it’s just work. I think other things can force margin into your life. There are a lot of families that have kids who are in sports that they travel all over the country. For some people, it seems like a fun lifestyle that they love. They enjoy investing in their kids and competitive sports. I think some people I’ve talked to, it just drives them crazy. They’re traveling all the time, never home, nothing gets done, and it’s just too much for them.

That’s a good topic. Understanding when it’s okay to say no and when you should say no. I grew up with a good balance where my parents instilled rest. You work hard, I was involved in multiple activities all the time, various groups. I always was a high achiever, but then my dad would always just say, “Now, it’s time to rest.” For me, that value was there from a very young age.

On the other hand, I was spread out. I was doing many different things, and then this thing started to suffer and that thing started to suffer. I got myself into a situation in college where I was trying to be an RA or Resident Assistant. I was trying to be in a play, be on the worship team of our campus ministry, keep up my grades, do a job, and have a boyfriend. It was you, by the way. All of these things, and I dropped the ball on something one weekend and suffered for it.

What did you drop the ball on?

I was supposed to be a backup person for a summer check-in.

What’s the summer check-in?

There were these camps coming in to stay at the residence hall. As an RA, I was a backup.

People couldn’t check in? They were waiting around here?

Just so you know, I’ve never talked about this.

People were waiting in line? Somewhere?

It makes me very warm right now. My chest is getting very warm. I was 19 years old. I just don’t like to let people down. I was a backup person, and never in the history of being a backup check-in person have they ever called on someone. I decided to leave town to go visit you, and I didn’t have a cell phone. When I got back at the end of the weekend, I had 20-something messages, and they were saying, “Kelly, we’re swamped, get down here.” “Kelly, where are you?” “Kelly, Kelly.” I was like, “No, dang it.” It was because I was involved in way too many things.

First of all, you just uncovered something very special there. As a nightly rental owner, have you ever been somewhere on New Year’s Eve, celebrating, having a good time, and someone calls you because there’s water shooting out of a property that you own? What if you didn’t get the call? What if you were allowed to celebrate, not get the call, and you would just find a house full of water on Monday? Maybe this is a bad example, but with the example that you just gave, we must have had a great time. I’m sure it was good to see you that weekend. We hung out, and we were fully present with each other, and I didn’t have to worry or suffer your anxiety of having to leave.

There are two lessons in this. One is getting yourself to a position where you can have someone who takes the call before you do. Having that manager in place is important. It was in college that wasn’t a reality, but if we’re translating that to today’s business, having somebody who’s a real go-getter who wants this job and you’re sitting by the pool. This person’s taking care of it, and it only comes to you if water’s coming out of the roof or whatever. You’re not tracking me.

I’m sorry, I’m having a side thought. If I was sitting by a pool and my employee was working and came to me and asked me a question, I would feel guilty that I was sitting by the pool and they weren’t.

Wow. I was having a conversation with a coach recently, and I said, “I’m going to start something up.” “This is what I’m thinking.” “This is what I would be doing.” He said to me, “Kelly, I want you to go into this.” I said, “I’ll do all the roles to begin with until I get it going, and then I’ll put someone in these places.” He said, “Kelly, what I want you to imagine is this.”

“I want you to imagine starting this business, the startup, with the people in place who are energetic, excited, and eager to grow this. I want you to get up, take your laptop, and sit by the pool in the morning.” It just depends on what you’re asking for. Are you asking for another job? Are you asking for time by the pool because you have blessed other people with positions and jobs that they are eager and excited to have? That frees time up for you to be creative, to create another position, to create another job.

You’re onto something because when I study Darren Jacklin, who’s also been a guest here before I highly recommend that you read that blog, he talks about being location independent, and he makes these Facebook posts about being out in nature, like out in the deep woods. He said, “Don’t worry everyone. I’ve got my cellular reception, and I’m hiking.” First of all, if I were hiking, I would want to be away from the world. That’s where my margin is. That’s where my recharge is, and I haven’t been able to get there. I desperately need to get there.

I want that lifestyle where I can say, “Me and the bros are going to go do three days in the Appalachian Mountains. We’re going to stay at our cabin and we’re going to get there.” However, that paints a picture of how I have to own a cabin. I have to go through all the stress of owning a cabin, buying a cabin, getting there, and I have to go find friends to go with me. We have to have equipment and that costs money too.

We have to have the lifestyle to be able to have the margin when I should probably just go hiking in the mountains, just because that would be great. I’m sorry for the side trip, but Darren is electrified by being in the mountains, and he feels like he does his best work when he’s out there in the mountains. That’s why he wants to say that he’s cellularly connected because he’s responding the best possible way that he can to meetings.

He’s having great powerful synergy sessions with people that he’s talking to on the phone. He’s got people on the hike with him that he’s walking with and learning from and doing things with. He is like in full energy. Imagine showing up in state, being able to do the things that you were put on the earth to do. I find myself feeling guilty for snacking on half of a Butterfinger bar with a Scotia coffee, trying desperately to stay awake and watch the clock because my next Zoom meeting is about to start.

Everyone does that, right? Those aren’t the things that we show daily or that we show on Instagram, but he’s at a point now where he can focus on those energetically creative activities. That’s where you and we have to put our focus, what is the life that you want to live? That eventually pulls you to it. Is the life that you want to live to feel guilty because you’ve created these positions and you’ve created these jobs and you’re enjoying yourself?

I don’t think so. Also, what gives you fuel? What gives you energy? Is it getting grounded? If that’s the case, then go out in the woods and take a walk. That’s something that fuels Darren and pulls the creative energy out of him. The second point that I was going to make about that horrible time in college when I realized that I was overextended was, that it’s okay to say, “I’m doing too much.”

To look at your plate and see all of the things on your plate and to pray about it, to meditate about it, and to say, “What are some of the things that I can take off for now?” I’ve taken some tough things off of my plate before. That’s not to say that I’ve always done everything right, because we don’t, we’re humans. I went to state as a piano player in high school and in my senior year of school, I went to Japan and I was supposed to practice there.

They found a grand piano for me. I was supposed to take a bus downtown, to this apartment, to go play the grand piano.

Honestly, I was intimidated. The girls there were super sweet, but I was intimidated by their talent, and I didn’t practice. When I got back I was stressed out about it. I just felt bad. I knew that I had exchanged that time in Japan as an exchange student to continuing with the piano, but I also knew that that wasn’t my future. That was a wonderful season in my life, and it was time to take it off the plate for now.

It’s a little side dish that I can pick up from time to time, but that’s where it belongs. Having that philosophy of knowing what belongs on your plate right now, because it can’t be packed full like Thanksgiving all the time. That’s not sustainable. Three things.

Pork chop, mashed potatoes.

Vegetable, green beans. That’s a good Midwestern meal.

What’s your current pork chop?

My current pork chop would be real estate, but it’s a triangle pork chop. It’s got three points on it. Investments, helping buyers, sellers, management, and all of the education that goes in the middle. That’s the meat of my business right now.

What’s the potatoes?

Good question. I would say that right now my priority is family because we still have three children at home, and one of them has very special dietary needs that we’re still learning about. Figuring out and keeping that one healthy. I would say my mashed potatoes are going to be my family. My vegetables are our Worley Real Estate Network. That’s the next thing of making sure that everything is flowing. We’re educating and training weekly that we’re teaching the investment class, we’re teaching new agents, and we’re bringing people in and educating them on how they can improve their lives.

Yes, we’ve created a tribe to help real estate agents have a home and family when they get through this crazy business of real estate. It’s hard to do it alone. Brokerages are hard to run and provide the things that a human being needs and the family that a human being needs to run, live, and do life with at work. It takes both of us for sure.

Morale and having fun, that’s part of it too. Making sure that we’ve played games together. The girls just had what we call a Lass’s weekend at Lake Longbow where we just had the best time. We thought that we were going to ride four-wheelers and get on the lake all weekend. What we ended up doing was eating a lot because every woman was responsible for a meal and someone else would clean it up. We all only cooked one meal the whole time we were there, but we’re eating these delicious, wonderfully crafted meals. We took several naps. We watched movies, and we played games. It was wonderful.

I know that you have stuffing, gravy, five-cup salad, and sweet potatoes on your plate. You’re being very polite in the interview. I know the other things that you have on your plate. A big buttery roll. You’ve got all that on your plate, and I know that you don’t necessarily want it on your plate. I know that I keep putting things on your plate.

Jeremy’s my big buttery roll.

Things keep spilling off of my plate onto yours because my plate keeps getting more on it. I have a platter.

He’s bringing people on to help him hold the plate because it keeps getting heavier. “Do we need a whole turkey on here right now?”

When Margin Evaporates

That’s true. We do. It’s a spatchcock smoked turkey. Yes, we’re going to smoke it. You brought something up that I think is worthy of sharing. I will say that we went through COVID, which was crazy because we were scared to death that we were going to lose our properties. We had short-term rentals that had gone to zero, and global tourism had shut down, which put stress on you.

We’re filling out governmental applications left and right during COVID. We had no time to relax, and that was the time when the world gave margin to the world. I miss it, honestly. I miss the space, the time, and the ability to stop and relax. I miss going to bed at 2:00 AM, looking at you and laughing, and waking up at 1:00 in the afternoon because we could and times were crazy.

I miss that, I do. Even during that time, Kelly, it was stressful because of the investments that we had made in the Black Swan event that had given us paralysis, that had cast fear into everyone’s life, not to mention the virus itself that scared the crap out of people. Then, we went to the busiest, incredibly fast-paced, insane real estate market that we have ever experienced in our entire lives.

I had agents crying because they were busy, and we were prepared. We caught a lot of baskets full of money during that time. You have to make hay while the sun shines. That’s what I was brought up hearing, so we did. Then, we went right from there to a transition in our business, a shift to a new brokerage in alignment with another brokerage, and we began to scale our business. That created a lot of problems because it took margin away from people’s businesses.

It is because we were transitioning during a very busy time, and we got to see the best and the worst in a lot of people, including ourselves. The margin, when it’s taken away, we were a house full of people. Forty agents had their margin taken away, and we had just put people through the worst. We went through the worst. People who were already busy, when the margin evaporates from your life, you realize very quickly what you have not been paying attention to.

What does that mean?

It means that if you’ve not been paying attention to your relationships, like my relationship with you, the margin evaporates, and that problem will be exposed.

Yes, it’ll be very strained. I agree.

The extra stress on all of your relationships lets you know where you’ve got real margin and where you don’t. For us, it was our son. When all of this was happening, the reason why I said all this is because we’ve had no break for the past two years. During all of this time, at the peak of it all, our son just wasn’t healthy. He just wasn’t looking healthy.

He was thirteen and he lost 20 pounds in a few months. The moment that did it for me, you recognized, I was just putting band-aids on things, saying it’ll get better. I guess, just putting blinders on essentially. The moment that clicked for me was when I had ordered some Thai food. You looked at him, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was about to take a bite, and you said, “Wait a second, do you want me to make you something else?” He said, “Yes, please.”

I just ordered this food, and you said, “Whenever I looked at him and he took that deep breath like this is going to hurt my stomach.” That’s when it did it for me. The reason why we ordered out is because we didn’t have the margin that night to make food, and you went and made him a meal. That was the beginning of that journey for us after he had gotten sick. That was a long journey.

We had discovered during that time that he had celiac and he couldn’t have gluten. What’s interesting, the most special thing about this is that we wouldn’t have known what to do next if we hadn’t led our team through a fast.

At the end of 2021.

We had already brought fasting into our business in a way that had allowed God to show up in our business in a very beautiful and special way. That’s a story for another time. We just made fasting part of our culture. We were doing a fast, and Lisa, one of the agents in our office, we’ve done two podcasts with Lisa here.

She realized she was experiencing some physical problems and had to go off the fast. She went to a doctor and realized that there were certain foods she couldn’t eat. That gave us a little bit of wisdom, maybe we need to get our son to this doctor. Maybe this food-related pain can be a starting place for us. That’s what we did.

It was an enormous education. It wasn’t just, “Don’t serve him wheat anymore.” In which I used to think. My daughter had a friend who was celiac or gluten intolerant. I just thought, “That poor mom. It just must be hard for her.” She’s got five kids, and anytime this little girl has to go to a birthday party, she’s got frozen cupcakes ready to go. I would never be able to do that. That’s not my worst nightmare, but that was not something I ever wanted to encounter.

We had taken Ethan to this doctor, and they said, “We can try to help your son, but he’s going to light up like a Christmas tree on this test.”

Everything’s fired up, he’s inflamed.

What you need to do is go to this very expensive doctor. We had just come off of a high real estate season, we had resources that a lot of people don’t have. We were able to pay exorbitant prices for this doctor, who I think legit saved our kid’s life. They told us to go off of gluten, go off of corn, go off of sugar, go off of soy, and go off of Dairy.

The five nasties are what they call them.

All these inflammatory foods.

Let me just say that if you read the label on anything that you feed yourself or your children, it’s got one of the five things in it. A lot of times if you go off gluten, you substitute it with corn or soy, but that was a no-no and nearly everything has sugar in it. Then, you discover that there are a lot of hidden words for gluten. There are a lot of things that have gluten that don’t even have that word in it.

There are a lot of other things. We began to live a lifestyle where we had to read every label at the grocery store. I had just described how crazy, busy, and exhausted we were. Life is going at a record pace. All of a sudden, this responsibility was forced into our lives. It sat in our lives like a gigantic elephant’s butt right in the middle.

It’s like, “Guess what, guys?” In addition to being busy working professionals who are doing all of these things, you now have to learn to cook again. You now have to read every label and everything you ever eat. You have to monitor your son’s health crazily with regular blood testing and things like that.

Every seasoning and every style of dressing, you have to investigate and either make it yourself or find an alternative. Grocery shopping would just take a massive amount of time. Just think, all of a sudden, in the middle of all of this, I want you to get a master’s in nutrition.

You can’t go out to eat. You can’t find snacks for your kid, who is just a growing teenager.

I just want something fun. Just give me a cookie.

Give me a cupcake. That was, I think, our first real experience with margin because it was just absolutely insane. The amount of time that it takes and even now we still don’t go out to eat. But here’s what’s cool. That dude took it like a champ. I’m glad that it happened to him because of the rule follower that he is. He began to eat differently, he began to change, and his body began to grow.

His body began to get the nutrients that it needed, and then he started growing fast. It wasn’t without challenges because when his body systems began to come online, it created other problems like migraines and all these other things. We would be like, “My gosh, every time we fed him, his stomach used to hurt, but now every time we didn’t feed him, his stomach hurt. We had to get him food fast.”

Luckily, we had this great functional doctor because we said, “Here’s what his problem is.” He said, “This is a good thing. This is the healing process. His body’s craving nutrition. Feed him 1,000 calories in the morning and just get him growing. Look at his blood test. The testosterone’s coming online and this low value here, which you think would be bad, is good for this reason.” I’m like, “My gosh, this education in biochemistry is amazing.”

What I’ve realized is that there are a lot of families who go through this. There’s a mysterious thing happening to my child and just understand that it is a process. But if you can start with the food, unfortunately, the only way you can find out if your kid can’t eat something is if they feel bad for a couple of days. Then you track it. You go back to your food journal and you’ll ask, “What do we do? What do we do differently? It might have been that. Let’s remove that and see if that was the reason.”

Every week it’s like, “My gosh, he eats wheat. We’re going to give him oat milk, but that was wrecking him.” Your kid is in so much pain you’re up at three in the morning looking on your phone researching celiac and why your kid’s stomach hurts and what symptoms. Oats have a very genetically similar makeup to wheat. Sometimes, with a certain percentage of patients, oats can cause the same problems. We’ve been feeding this kid oatmeal and it’s been hurting.

Yes, that’s what we did. “He’s sick every morning. Let’s give him something as soon as he wakes up, and we chose oat milk.” You were the researcher and every time you’d research something, I would follow through with that dietary change. It was a good team effort, but the thing is, when you have a kid that’s sick, and I know a lot of people can identify with that, it puts an incredible strain on you and on everything you do.

It puts a strain on your relationship because you’re walking around with this massive question mark over your head and you’re thinking, “Am I poisoning my kid? What am I doing? What can I do to make it better because nothing is working?” Then having an advocate that says, “Let’s go back, look, and help you make a change. This is looking better” was the most beautiful thing. I just want to say, I know that this show isn’t necessarily about this event, but it was significant in our lives. Again, I think a lot of people deal with it. I do want to say that I think there’s a place for Eastern medicine and there’s absolutely a place for Western medicine.

For Western medicine, get your kid tested. Get them under the eyes of a doctor. There may be something that is being missed. We’ve had all of those tests done. All of the ultrasounds, blood tests, and all of the things. Ultimately, most of our help ended up coming from a functional doctor from Eastern Medicine and continues to.

A Piece Of Chocolate

Why don’t we take a little bit of margin in the show right now? Let’s have a piece of chocolate.

I brought three pieces of chocolate and here’s the thing. You brought one and I see yours has the word ambitious on it. Now on the other side of one of these pieces of chocolate is the word ambitious.

You’re joking.

No, and I want you to choose whichever piece of chocolate fits you.

It’s not the middle one because that’s too obvious.

I don’t know. I didn’t arrange it, so don’t do that.

Who arranged it?

The universe arranged it. The randomness.

It’s very easy. It’s this one right here.

It is. The other two are empowered and shine on. Now, if I was a marketing person with the Hershey company, and I was thinking, “What are some great phrases? Who’s our audience? Our audience is?”

The four-year-olds. Who eats Hershey’s chocolate anymore?

That’s the question. Let’s say your audience is everybody.

Who eats these but Halloween kids? These are small, fun-sized milk chocolate Hershey’s. If I’m being honest, I don’t like just regular chocolate. I want to have like a little nut.

Do you know what? I just figured it out. Aside from Halloween, where do you see these chocolates?

Easter.

Thirty minutes ago, where did I get these? Where did you get yours? Beth’s desk. These are intended for the admin desk, and they are to encourage people who are coming by and grabbing a piece of chocolate.

That’s why it says, ambitious.

Shine on, who came up with that one?

Why don’t we say, “Get your butt to work,” or “Stop looking at Facebook.” That’s what they should say.

I would buy those.

“Don’t forget your anniversary.” That’s what I should say. Why do I need a Hershey wrapper to tell me to shine on?

I don’t know. I’m going to eat the shine on, though. I guess there’s something to it.

I don’t even know what shine on means.

Sparkle would be fun. I bet the word sparkle came up.

Dudes don’t sparkle, Kelly.

Yes, that’s what happened, and they were in a board meeting. The word sparkle came up, and they said, “Dudes don’t eat sparkle.” They settled. They had two alternatives. They had shine On.

I’m sorry, it was just pointed out to me that some dudes do Sparkle.

They voted on shine on because they thought it was more neutral than Sparkle. Incidentally, Lisa, who we talked about earlier, will not eat Hershey’s chocolate.

Why?

I heard on an NPR program. It was all about chocolate, and I’ll never forget, someone said, “How do you know when it’s good quality chocolate?”

It won’t have Hershey’s on it.

Yes, and they put the chocolate up to the microphone, and they broke it. You could hear the break. Now, I’m going to do this. That’s good quality.

Let’s do it. Quiet on the set.

This is Hershey’s chocolate. As close to the microphone as it can get. It goes, “Thunk.” Real soft thunk. It’s not high quality. I don’t know if I should say what she says it tastes like.

It’s a family show. She is British.

It’s not that bad. She says it tastes like baby puke.

How do you know what baby puke tastes like? I’ve been through a lot with my kids.

I didn’t ask her that. Hershey’s is good with s’mores. I don’t know what else is good for me right now in this moment.

Excuse me. It’s choking me.

It does. It stings your throat. Chocolate shouldn’t sting.

This was supposed to be a fun experiment. This is awful. I never want to see a Hershey’s wrapper again as long as I live.

I’m just not a fan of the Coke things and the Snickers things that have a word on it.

If you have to put words on your wrappers, then quit.

I agree. It is not doing it for me. If I had an option of buying the worded and buying the not-worded, I would buy the not-worded.

Somebody got a raise because they’re making chocolate more fun. Some executive got paid, it was at a board meeting, and they’re all sitting around saying, “How do we make this fun-size Hershey’s even more fun?” “I know. Let’s put jokes on them.” Why don’t they put jokes on them? It’d be a great idea.

Jokes would be great! Advice or jokes but not fortune.

Why don’t you put a QR code on it for a cool fact? Now you control information and have a cool fact. Why don’t you put the secret to the universe unlocked? Who shot JFK on a Hershey wrapper? I’d be buying Hershey’s in bags.

Yes, do something edgy, Hershey’s.

Corporate America. Activate the hidden secrets of the universe and sell them back to America.

Yes, and it’s okay that it’s not real or not true. Nobody cares.

No, it is. It matters.

If it’s a joke.

That would be funny. Whoever put shine on on the Hershey’s deserves to be fired. What a horrible idea. I have enjoyed this bit of margin with you eating Hershey’s.

Me too. It’s been lovely.

Also, thank you for sharing the personal story of your son. I think maybe we should put a little button on this because we talked about how this new lifestyle was thrust on us in the middle of a busy growth in our business.

That’s the flow, right? That we’re talking about.

Major flow. Even when we go to Lake Longbow or try to relax, there’s always something to do there, and we like to do hard work there. We like to cut in trails and remodel things. Where’s the margin in our lives, Kelly?

This is something that I was able to speak to. We went to Mastermind recently, and at the Mastermind, we had something that we did differently. We broke up into groups, and we started talking about what was on our hearts. What was the prevailing word in our hearts? In some people’s hearts, it was energy and fire, and some people were overwhelmed, exhausted, confused, and searching.

The cool thing about that was bringing it back to you as an entrepreneur. We care for you. We want to know that you’re okay and that you have a support group. What I was able to share with the group was this story. It was interesting. Earlier today, I was thinking that we’re going to see the 2020s as just a group, just like the 2020s. Maybe when we get toward the 2030s, we’ll be saying, “Things are a little bit different.”

This is the flow. This is a little bit of a challenge. A lot of people are seeing it. We are finding moments of pause. What I shared with the group was this, when I was in my early 30s and I had a cleaning business, I had three babies at home, we had three properties, we had multiple employees, and I was putting out fires in the morning until noon, and then I could be present with my children.

I just wanted someone to take me by the shoulders, look into my eyes, and say, “I think everyone needs to know that it gets better.” My brother told me that when I was in college. He said, “I know what’s challenging. I know things are tough. You’re not sure where paychecks are coming from, and you’ve got finals and all this pressure, but Kelly, it gets better.” I’ve always thought that, and I just want to encourage people that it always does. We were intended for the struggle.

We’re made for it. It’s not always supposed to be that way, but it is like that in life, and it does get better. God has a plan for you. God wants you to have life and have it to its fullest extent. This is going to teach you more than you can imagine. Try to have some perspective on it. Where we’re at now is we have a lot of awesome moments. We have a graduation party for our daughter who just graduated.

We have a beautiful family who surrounds us. We have beautiful relationships. We have campfires. We get to go to Europe. We get to go to a mastermind and be in front of wonderful, wonderful people of this world. Choose those moments to focus on and know that if you’re in an ebb in life, just know that the flow is coming. If you’re in a flow in life, know that the ebb is coming. It will balance out, and it will be okay.

We have woodpeckers hatching in our front yard, and we get to see the mom and dad. Last year we had red-shouldered hawks hatch, and Lisa has baby owls. Those things are the most special.

Another Lisa has baby robins. She sent me pictures this morning at her house.

How To Add Margin Into Your Life

What needs to happen for you to add more margin into your life? How do you like to add margin to your life? How do you make it happen?

Margin is accepting that you need help in certain areas until you get to a certain level of income and then you can employ that help. There’s always a stretch, always a push, and when you get there, then it’s a step of faith. Once you’re at that level, you’ll say, “I have my housekeeper.” I think for women to understand that you can and should have a housekeeper. If you’re an entrepreneur, you’re working very hard, you need support systems in your life, and that’s one of the best ones you can have.

Some people have an au pair. That’s someone who will come in and help with the children in exchange for room and board. Even doing something like ALDI or Walmart delivery, taking that time and putting it back into your life. Then the next level would be a house manager. I know several people who have a house manager, and they’re able to do personal assistant things, “Here are the five things that I have for you to do today.” Running errands, making a return, and things like that.

I can’t wait for that day until we have a house manager. I can’t wait until we have those people we can hire in our lives. I was talking to somebody today about their business and the frustration journal, which is a system that I’ve used to scale and grow. I would create a frustration journal in my life, and you can do it on your phone, you can do it on a notes app. Whenever you experience something that frustrates you, just write it down.

Don’t worry about it, just write it down. Don’t think about it. “I’m feeling frustrated about number one, this.” Then put your phone away. When something else frustrates you, number two is this. Just let that happen for a while. Just begin to journal and log because what gets measured gets done. When you begin to measure the frustration in your life, you begin to act out towards it. You now have a list of four or five things that are frustrating you, and you can now see the systems that you need to build in your life to make sure that you don’t ever get frustrated by those again.

Now, if I could just modify that a little bit because your subconscious is at work constantly. It’s the most silly, simple thing. You can trick your subconscious into thinking that you’re happy by putting a smile on your face. It’s simplistic that when your subconscious sees “I am frustrated about mowing my lawn,” your subconscious now focuses on frustration from mowing the lawn, right?

If you were to then just make a little bit of a switch and say, “This is my frustration journal, but I’m now switching it to something that I want my subconscious to focus on. I am happy and grateful that I have a gardener at my house weekly.” Your subconscious will then begin to work on that, and you’re focusing on that. Not only that, you’re at a better vibration because you’re thinking of something positive rather than thinking. You’ve switched that negative thought into something more positive.

You’re talking about Jedi mind tricks. I’m talking about systems. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that. I believe you’ve helped me a lot in correcting the way I say things because that matters. I understand that. You’re right, if you’re going to create a frustration journal, what you say is valid because you should say, “I no longer want to be frustrated about number one.” Or I guess what you’re saying is don’t use the word frustrated. “I no longer have to worry about the problem of number one because I have blankety blank, blank, blank,” and those are not cuss words.

Yes, you can say that and then follow it up with the other, but then I guess if you’re creating a, I hate to say meditation, but if you’re creating a phrase for yourself to say every day, because even our pastor talks about that. This is your affirmation. If you’re creating that, don’t use negative words. “I’m no longer worried about blank.”

Poverty. I’m just going to say that word. I’m no longer worried about poverty because then your brain focuses on the word poverty, not the negative words that come before it that are counteracting that. There’s no problem in writing that, as long as the ultimate goal is to create that statement for yourself of what you want to become.

I think it’s a little different area of study than actually writing down the things that are frustrating you and doing something about it, which is what I’ve done. I’ve never had any training regarding mindset or things like that, except for Tony Robbins. Just write down the stuff that’s in the moment that causes frustration and then do something about it.

Stop complaining. Just stop it. Just start doing something about the thing that is frustrating you dearly right now or causing you pain. Write it down, hit it between the eyes, and tackle it. I don’t care how hard it is. Just do it because that’s what it takes to push through and to have a breakthrough. This margin is a quest.

We talked earlier about balance, and I’ve said many times that balance is an illusion. It doesn’t exist. Even if you find it, it’s stupid because who wants to balance anything? Think about your body position. If you’re balancing, how hard is it? Every small muscle in your body is working to achieve something that takes a lifetime to master. Unless you’re a monk, don’t balance anything.

Even then, some people wouldn’t consider that balance.

No, the margin is the empty hand that catches things when they fall. It’s the extra bank account full of money that protects you when somebody loses a job. It’s the extra time when your kid gets sick and you can learn to cook. It’s all of those things. It’s the time to think and plan or to just press in, read the Word, and pray.

I took a Bible study one time, and they made us journal the time that we spent in the Word that week. I realized because I was measuring it that it wasn’t happening. What gets measured gets done. The only way to force margin into your life, I believe, is to create discipline because I think discipline creates margin in your life. It sounds counterintuitive because when we think margin, we think about having the freedom to do nothing, but it’s not that. It’s scheduling the time to do nothing.

That’s good. Being deliberate about the time that you do work.

Yes, I was talking to Daphne, our 18-year-old daughter, who is experiencing a new life. She just graduated from high school, and we’re not forcing her to go to college. We have no expectations of her except for what she wants out of life. I think that one of the things that you and I are good at is just allowing our kids to discover and to be present with them.

We encourage them. We have high standards for our kids, and they’ve done a great job of being good stewards of our standards to the world, do no harm, stick up for your friends and family, excel, and use your time wisely. While you’re at school, be a good student. While you’re at work, be a good employee. While you’re exploring business opportunities, be a great entrepreneur. Be the best one you can be because don’t die with seeds in your pocket.

They’ve done a great job of that, and they’ve been great advocates for God, which I am happy for them. It makes me happy. But she’s at a place now where she has the rest of her life to decide what she wants to do, and it’s causing her stress. I had a conversation with her last night. I wanted to know that she was thinking about getting a job this summer.

A lot of kids already have jobs through high school, and they prioritize jobs because they want money. She doesn’t care about material things. She doesn’t care about money yet. When she realizes that she needs it, she’ll have to engage and get a job, but she did get a job thanks to her boyfriend who encouraged her to get one and who got her the job. What a great guy.

She just graduated. They just had a trip with their friends. They stayed at our lake house and did such a great job. They’ve got a trip to Florida planned, which I’m thankful for. She’s helping her boyfriend move into his new house because he’s going to college far away, and they’re handling that with such grace. I love their relationship. She’s staying at home to get Gen Ed out of the way because she got good grades and can get her Gen Ed for free at a community college. I think it’s such a smart thing because we’re not putting the pressure of the world on her or the lessons that we were taught. Go to college. Go do these things. There’s no reason why she needs to spend $60,000 a year on a college right now when she has no idea what she wants to do. That’s her opinion as well.

I asked her last night, “How are you doing with all of this?” She said, “Okay.” I said, “I’m going to say some things, and I don’t want you to take this as advice or pressure. I just want to know where you’re at with your thought process. Are you thinking of getting a job because you want to save money, or are you focused on just having time? Because right now, you’ve got time.”

I just reminded her that there’s no reason to rush. I said, “You have time right now. You don’t have to worry about getting a job. I’m not asking you this because I want you to get a job. I’m just asking you this because I want to know where your head’s at.” She said, “I have been thinking about work a lot, and it’s stressing me out because I know I need to do it. I know it’s stressing me out, and we’ve got this trip planned here, this here, and this here, but then between these times, I’m thinking about getting a job.”

She was getting anxious because she knew the need to work, and honestly, that’s all I needed. I needed to know that she was going to plan for it, but I also wanted her to realize that she could release that. I told her that the best thing she can do to give herself the freedom to relax right now in this moment is to schedule time on her calendar to think about her future. As long as she does that, she doesn’t have to worry and can relax right now in this moment.

I said, “The only way that works is if you do not violate your standards. If you violate that calendar standard and that comes up on your calendar and you don’t do that thing, that’ll create a downward spiral of depression because you violated your values and now you’re guilty.” Those are low activities, bad activities, and violating the things on your calendar.

If there’s something on your calendar that you’re not doing and it’s there weekly, delete it because you see it every week and you don’t do it. It’s creating a bad environment for you. Stop it. Just take it off your calendar if you’re not going to do it. Be realistic. That was my covenant with her. That was my wisdom for her at that moment. It wasn’t to pressure her to go get a job and do the thing, be what society says you need to be. All those things are important, but at the same time, it was, “How are you? I’m glad you’re thinking about this. It’s okay, chill out.”

Also, what a great simple lesson for anyone. If it’s on your calendar, you need to schedule it and get it done. That’s one of the most simple things that a person can do that builds confidence in themselves. Isn’t that right? Going down the alternate path of, “I didn’t do it.” That’s one of the first things Tony Robbins says in one of his audio classes, “What’s the thing you’ve been putting off? Do it. I’m not kidding, do it.

If I can’t, then I must.

“Don’t come back to this next session until you do it, okay?” He says it three or four more times, “Go, do it.” You go do it. How empowering does that feel? That’s a good lesson. You’re a good parent.

You are a good parent. I love parenting with you. We’re a good team. We’ve always been galvanized by our kids. I also want to say that you’ve handled everything with Ethan with incredible grace. Your cooking skills are off the charts now. You care deeply for your kids. You’re such an awesome mom, and you don’t ever drop the ball at work. You’re great. You’re just awesome. I love you dearly.

Thank you. That’s kind. I appreciate it.

Margin In Our Lives

I enjoyed this conversation. Is there anything else that you feel like you want to share?

I would just share one more tidbit. I read a Charles Stanley book about the Holy Spirit years and years ago. He was talking about the fruits of the Spirit. He said, “I would go in-depth into each one of these and talk about why this is important, but I think what that would do is put you in the frame of mind of something being more important. This is now a to-do list. This is now something I have to prioritize.”

This is me paraphrasing years and years later, but this is the message I got. “The message I want to give to you is this, just put God first.” All of the things talking about margin, work, parenting, and all of the lessons that we have, there’s an amazing thing that happens when you start by putting God first, by diving into the Word. A lot of things find their priority, and they shift into their priority. Anxiety goes down. Decision-making is easier. I would say above all things, that’s probably the most important.

Now you’ve brought something up.

No, I was trying to wrap it up.

I wish you would have just said bi-organic because that would have been easy, but instead, it’s like, “My grandparents, I know they love me, but whenever I would bring a challenge to them, they’d just tell me to pray about it.” I will. Do you? I will. Putting God first, what does that mean? How do you put God first?

Yes, good question. Like physically opening up your Bible so you can go through a lesson.

Hold on. The Bible is heavy. It’s heavy for a lot of people and someone who’s reading this who has never read the Bible or doesn’t regularly, it doesn’t even mean anything to them. “Here’s this gigantic Archaic tome, and I don’t know where to start or even what it means.”

There are a lot of ways that God can talk to you. Sometimes God can talk to you by opening up the Bible and showing you a scripture. That’s something that God will do for you, but for someone looking for a regular something to do, my campus pastor said to me, “Kelly, there are a lot of questions in life, and 90% of them will be answered by the Bible and the rest of the 10% just geography, where you are in life.” It took me a long time to understand that. There are many answers that God will reveal to you in the Bible. I would say getting a Bible study guide, getting a study that you can then follow in the Bible is probably a good place to start.

Find a Bible app, start on something, and join a group that encourages you to get into the Word.

Yes, there’s no lack of resources for finding something that fits you and your personality.

I would say this, if you have a question about your faith, or if you want to explore something, or if there’s something you want to learn, like, “I read this and I don’t get it.” Go to YouTube, look it up, find a sermon on it, and listen to it. That’s the same. That counts, that’s feeding your spirit. Faith comes through hearing. Don’t be afraid to listen to a sermon on it, and that’ll help you too. Start there maybe if you’re intimidated about cracking open an ancient tome.

Which is living and breathing.

It is. Thank you, my dear.

Thank you, my dear.

Thanks for the chocolate and the wine.

My pleasure.

Cheers.

Cheers.

A big thank you for reading to the end of our blog. I know your time is valuable, and I hope you got a few takeaways that are going to help you get a greater return on that time. I know you will. If you did enjoy it, I’d sure appreciate a share or a comment. Feel free to subscribe for instant access to new episodes and offers.

There’s also a ton of free content and ways to learn more and engage more at WorleyRealEstateNetwork.com. Until then, we’ll continue to bring you recipes for success and real stories from real people who, like you, are living out your divine purpose. God loves you. No matter what happens, don’t give up.

Important Links

• Kelly Worley – LinkedIn
• Kelly Worley – Facebook
• Worley Real Estate Network – YouTube
• Worley Real Estate Network – LinkedIn
• Worley Real Estate Network – Website
• Myths, Management & Mastery of Vacation Rentals
• https://Vrolio.Typeform.com/worleynetwork
• Vacation Rental Ranch By Owners | Lake Longbow
• Darren Jacklin| If You Had $100M What Could You Do with It?
• Cocktails & Dreams Podcast Buzz Blits Episode 1

About Kelly Worley

Kelly has been investing in and managing her own vacation rentals since 2008. She has remodeled homes and condos, set up vacation rentals from scratch, and has built new construction vacation rentals. She has a passion for helping people increase their wealth through real estate investing. In 2017 Kelly became a real estate agent so that she could begin training investors as well as investor agents on their own journey to creating their legacy.